he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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