fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
