Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
