i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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