There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
