i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize