did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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