btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
