Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
