i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
