check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
This is my gift to your gina
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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