My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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