you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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