I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This baby is an asshole
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
