it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
