How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
