I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
