I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
