we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
