I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
