but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
