Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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