She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize