dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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