how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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