last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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