it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
