Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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