you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
