my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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