My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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