3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
