My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Randomize
