Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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