Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i out mim tonsoeep
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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