Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
you never un-have a 4some
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
