We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
