it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
