No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
