Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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