Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
