you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
