i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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