oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
