this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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