Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She needs sedatives and a leash
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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