when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
