I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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