She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
