I'm jealous of your bromance
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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