I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize