her vagine was all disorganized.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
