i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
