Me. At least after what I've been through.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
