Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize