I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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