he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
