i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
