Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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