I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
