so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
