absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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