i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
