i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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