Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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