he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
