none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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