I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
