I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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