just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You need a sexual gate keeper
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
