you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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